It’s beginning to untangle!

Well the good news, is that some of my thoughts have started to untangle and I am beginning to make sense about some of the things,  I want to tackle. Now, it might feel like or sound like procrastination about “getting on with it” but if i’ve not worked it out, then any action is doomed to fail, as 1) you tackle an issue and not the root and 2) is it even the right issue.

I struggled with that last sentence and even the choice of words of problem v issue. Now, they are two distinctly seperate things as an issue may or may not be a problem. So I am going with issue for now.

May be dissatisfaction?

Anyway, work to do….

Catch you later

 

Pondering thoughts…

Hmmm, something have got to change, then becomes pondering thoughts, whilst you decide what or if to change. Now the decision is something has to ,

so thats easy then,  it gets more difficult to look for the what. I guess it depends on the scenario and what is going on, and indeed then what is the outcome!

And of course, that’s where I’ve come unstuck, I am usual ok at identifying an issue and then determining an plan of action as to what, when, where, who etc…. but I just can’t put a finger on it, or perhaps its locked away in a cupboard called denial. I’ve seen lots of old habits return and that’s disappointing if i am honest, and may be that’s what slowing me down.

Some more time, and idle thought is needed, as one thing I know is that I cant force it.

 

 

Another week…

Hello,

Another week, and weekend survived… By and large, its been positive and food hasn’t been too bad. It was nice to refuse a creme egg from Matt. I guess, I ‘ve been more organised, and the morning routine has been adjusted to allow it to work.

Hey ho. Off to to the gym I go.

Cheers

Steve

 

End of the first working week…

So made it to the end of the week which is nice. The most appealing part has been that we’ve walked each day, and the milage has improved each day. Coffee switch made to Americano vs any milky coffee which is a step in the right direction. Next week sees the return to the sheep.

So this year, there is a motivation and a point. Not content with being huge this year, I’ve got a road trip planned in for later in the year which see’s me off to the USA. As part of this, it’s going to be hot hot hot, and there are also a number of roller coasters etc. As such, it won’t do me any harm to fix it. A few diet changes already filtering in, last huzzah tomorrow with food as part of a birthday and then we are done. Back on plan, to get on track

Wish me luck, going to need it.

 

Reflections…


So I note that my last post was in September, and I’ve not needed to, nor had the time to post. Life just gets in the way sometime. However, as is the norm for this time of year, there is an element of reflection and planning. Now that is not my normal bag, but as I get older….

I’ve never been a fan of new year resolutions, as its easy to be glib, or not commit to actions. As such, no resolutions nothing silly, but at my time of life, and something I’ve said before, changes need to happen.

One of the drivers, is a drive, and a big spend holiday for later in the year. To survive heat and humidity I need to do something, and make a change. There will also be roller coasters a plenty to play with so fit into a dam thing, changes need to come.

It’s also fair to say healthwise, the family has faced some issues this year, and whilst I can plod on, its time to stop plodding.  For the record, nothing bad for me, bar the plantar which isn’t ever going to go, and a dodgy tooth.

 

So then, onwards and next steps. Stop messing about Stephen and commit to the cause, and go do it. There is a number in my head, and thats the loss goal for September.  Time to take the black sheep seriously and pull it all together as it should be. Stop spending at work, and back on the water etc. During this year, I’ve covered an extra 700 miles or so, its got to be the 1000 for next year too. Started well and then drifted off.

It can all only help.

I do find, writing this stuff down all helps to, so I will. Or at least, I say I will

 

Cheers.

Steve

 

 

So somethings have to change…

Well dear reader, assuming there is still a read out there, we need to have a conversation, we need to discuss something important and somethings have to change.

Every now and then in life, there is a surprise or a shock and you end up taking stock to some extent. This time, it was a phone call on the way to work to tell me that my mother was unwell, dad was in a panic. Ambulance called, just waiting for arrival.  From the limited bit I got, as panic was in charge, I got that we were having trouble breathing and didn’t feel well. Now for some reason dad went for the 111 non emergency number, but quite quickly it was triaged and become important enough for the flashing lights to be on their way.

I arrived just before the ambulance and tried to calm people down and then they arrived and let them do their thing. Its clearly serious enough, with wires, leads and monitors all beeping away. Information sent to hospital and urgent attendance needed…. so off they go. I chase them down and find them in A&E doing all the things they need to do. We say our bit, and wait for details. Stabilisation is the order of the day and quickly with the appropriate care, improvement is rapid and massive.

Further care needed, and a transfer to another hospital is the order of the day as specialisation means different things go to different places. For the north east, The Freeman is the heart & lung place of choice , infact known around the world. They reject her as not serious enough, so fear not, off we go to Sunderland Royal.

Settled in, treatment discussed, Angioplasty (stents and balloons to you and I) is the order of the day, and its planned in fairly routine.

 

But then, the first spanner in the works…. A coloured die is injected to see how it all looks and the surgeon doesn’t fancy it, more complicated… its been escalated. Another hospital is on the cards, either Freeman or James Cook (wayyy down south). We suggest Freeman is better suited and easier for us all, but its bed availability that’s key. 3 days of waiting eventually transferred across. New surgery planned, a triple bypass no less! Good effort mother!

Second spanner in the works.  Off to theatre, all planned in – we hide at home as its safer and we can’t do anything of use to anyone at this point. Advised to call after 11…. We watch the clock, watch it some more, and then finally its time to call.  I am given the dubious pleasure.

I call and and told back in ICU all ok, but there are complications. That set my heart racing! But, it turns out what that actually means is that the operation was aborted before it began. It seems mother decided things were not complicated enough, so she would add something new to the mix. Now she has no allergies we are aware of… but (and you can guess where this is going) We understand she went to sleep ok, but then was given the necessary drugs for the op (4 different ones….) and it seems she is allergic to one of them…

 

They correctly back out of the operation. Back to ICU.

It seems mother isn’t happy with the provided breathing tube, and decides to pull it out. That didn’t go down well with the nurses. Ooops

Plan B is resurrected, with the balloons and stents back on the table, as its a local and not general anaesthetic.  This I am pleased to say worked better, and she’s made it home so phew….

So thanks for reading this far, but you are questioning whats this all got to do with the title…. well as part of the visiting etc etc, and maybe its because barriers are down etc, mother decided life was changing, better food, no cheating, a diet you name it. In short, she outright called me fat, and my dad, and my partner…. So if you know me, its a factually correct statement and I’ve never hidden from this.  But given the scare, and support she needs, maybe it is time to make a change, and properly do something about it.  A lot of heart disease and block arteries are diet related, and to be fair its in my control if i want it to be.

So its time to make changes, eat healthier, get back on the bandwagon…. and support the family whilst helping my self.

Today was day one, and its been good, no cheating at work, less coffee, salad for lunch. A 2 miles walk at lunch. Gym tonight for rowing and weights, and then a little sauna and swim to cool it all down.

Now Rome wasn’t built in a day, and one day doesnt make a week or a month. But its a start, and it needed to start.

 

Enough from me for now.

 

Cheers

Stephen